Career For Sale: Update

So after completing the 3 hour exam in less than an hour, and then fine tooth combing the sum biotch for the next half hour, I couldn't sit around any longer. Filled in all the circles, zipped up my exam into the little plastic baggie they gave us and I was off. But not before giving the entire class that was still franticly writing the exam a solid crook eye.

I tried going through the exam and find the necessary questions it would take for me to fail (You are required to get a 75% or better to pass) and I couldn't do it. Turns out that was another thing I was right about that day. I believe the expression is Flying Colours... 94%.

Yay 4 Me.

SW: Cartoon Theme Songs

Stumbled across this, thought I would share.

"Pop quiz: when's your Mom's birthday? (Month, day, and year.)

Now, quick, where do the Gummi Bears bounce?"

If you're an average, red-blooded AmericanCanadian between the ages of 18 and 30 32, you most likely just answered, “Um, March-ish?," followed by an almost immediate, tuneful “Here and there and everywhere!”

If you don't sing along to about 75 - 80% of the entire countdown, than frankly I don't much care to be your friend any longer. The Cracked commentary is quite humorous as well, worth the read.

Enjoy.

Painful Cartoon Theme Songs

Morbid Analogy: Lost Finale

WOW. After 'mediocre at best' season finale's of other hit shows this year, last nights "LOST" renewed all faith in the Television version of the block buster with it's supercalafragileisticexpialadocious finale last night. (And yes, that's how you use it in a sentence).

LOST is a lot like the abusive boyfriend you can't get away from. LOST has both physically and mentally abused me this year, actually every year of our relationship. But this year was worse, in fact that I almost added it to the PVR's record and watch later schedule. Friends keep telling me to get away from LOST, and a lot actually despise LOST. I've almost got away once or twice... but every now and then LOST does something wonderful, and totally reminds me why I love him it. And last nights show was the leave work early, flowers, candy, go on a romantic date, great sex and cuddling, proposal (I said yes) night I've been longing for.

My head is still spinning from such a wonderful evening. I hope you enjoyed it as well.

SW: Penguin Rant

After posting my Summer Reality Bites bit, I realized I had a few angry comments from my readers, and I've left you without my vast knowledge on anything and everything for a while. So here's something to chew on:

Whats the deal with Penguins? March of the Penguins was well made, and really opened my eyes on the struggle that the Emperor Penguin must endure each year in the Arctic (Insert Golf Clap). I'm also one of the 93.7% that upon hearing Morgan Freeman speak (the movies narrator), I stop what I'm doing and listen. I sure hope he's the voice that follows the emergency broadcast system announcement if it were ever not actually a test. Morgan Freeman as Ellis Boyd "Red" Redding would really get that percentage up. What was I saying... oh right, fucking penguins... well not "Fucking Penguins", but fucking {space} PENGUINS!

Like 20 movies since 2005 have either starred or featured the Penguin. Happy Feet? Common the Penguin can't even fly - what kind of a gay bird can't fly? Are there fish that can't swim? Amphibians that don't amphibian? Pigeons that don't shit on my car? Cats that don't sit there and do fuck all? NOPE, there is not! So movie makers make the gay penguin that's right...dance! Oh and Surf in a new movie called "Surfs Up" opening up sometime next week. I'm not sure when the time of the first airing of that movie will be, but my guess is it starts somewhere deep into the 14th minute.

I guess what I'm saying is now is not the ideal time to invest in Penguins.

Summer Television: Reality Bites?

Tonights episode of Lost pretty much sums up my fall TV schedule. 24, Heroes, Lost, Survivor, ER, CSI and a few others have all finished. But this upcoming summer TV season, unlike most others, I have reason to be excited for weeknight and general downtime PVR time killers. Incase you didn't know...I love my "Reality TV" and Summer is chalked full of it:

Last Comic Standing is a fantastic TV show. About the best elimination (and fairest) of any show that puts it into the publics hands. And these people are FUN-KNEE! I'm glad it's back, it would rank probably in my top 5-6 favourite current shows. And unlike American Idol, this show actually gets better as the "bad people" in the early shows are eliminated.

Hells Kitchen - I got into that last season and really enjoyed it. That crazy chef is one fucked up dude.

Big Brother - Honestly, Big Brother is OKAY at it's best (although LTA will yell at me for saying that) but I tune in quite often and find myself entertained.

On the Lot - just started with last nights premiere. So far so GREAT! Future of this show looks bright too with fantastic guest judges and celebs then again Mark Burnett and Steven Spielberg could create the real life Mr. Hankey and turn it into a top 5 show. (Note to self, pitch MB and SS on a show about a piece of talking shit)...speaking of Mark Burnett and crazy pitch ideas Pirate Master starts next week. Mark Burnett, Pirates, 1 million dollar prize... I sure hope Jeff Probst isn't out of a job here, but this will be a hit as well.

Other shows worth taking a peak at

- The Real Wedding Crashers probably has a few more shows left in it. Pretty good prank show

- The Academy is a Police Academy reality show, but without Bobcat it may not fly.

- American Inventor 2. Fun to flip to now and then, not a regular, but not bad.

Other Shows I won't be tuning into:

- The Simple Life 5...Nope! Okay, maybe just too see if anyone in this car wreck gets hurt.

- America's Got Talent - Nope and Nope. And this time, not even to see the car wreck that is "The Hof"

- So you think you can Dance? Nope I don't. Nuff said.

- The Next Best Thing - A Celebrity Impersonator show - It's ABC... they're trying. Here's a celebrity impresonation for them "This is not going to be a 'really big shoe"

So I'll have to keep a keen eye on my PVR recorded level this summer. With Baseball 2 nights a week, and my guess right now school another 2 nights a week, I'll have much less time to watch a lot more TV... Sweet.

For Posts Sakes

I don't really have anything to say but figured what the hell. Lets see what comes out.

Baseball was canceled last night - our first Men's league game. I was standing at the window in full baseball attire watching the lightning and hail thinking "it's still good"... I was wrong. The only saving grace to my desire to play ball is I have a mixed league game tonight. 2 Days a week now, sweet. The weather is still shit, but I'm much more optimistic than last night. Go Rounders! I get to show off my brand spanking new batting gloves tonight.

I'm getting pretty excited for the Summer, in no particular order

BBQs
Fishing
Golf
Patio lounging
Visiting Our Cottage
August Cottage weekend
Football Drafts
FSA #5
First house!

Going to be good. The last few things take place in August, and although looking forward to the new house is a huge highlight, I can wait. The summer goes by fast enough without wishing it by. Going to be fun.

Sad News: Fez Part 2

This afternoon in what was inevitable yet still very difficult to comprehend and accept news, our little guy Fez passed on. Liz was at home with him when the time came, but not before one last moment of quality time cuddling on the couch together. Also luckily, just yesterday I had one of those lie in the grass and stare at the clouds moments with him... it's as though Liz and I each knew something was up and the time was drawing ever closer where those moments become only fond memories, so we racked extra up as quickly as possible. He's already greatly missed, and your well wishes dear readers I believe added the extra month of time with the greatest dog ever - so I thank you for them.

I said it in the last post, but it turned out to be very true - and I'm glad; Knowing the countdown was on, as horrible as the news first hit us, was a blessing. Fez visited his family and friends and even ate 3 boxes of treats!, and it made the goodbye process much easier to accept. Today's news is sad, but we've been preparing for this moment, and knowing Fez is no longer suffering in any way is also greatly rewarding.

Taz and Fez, after a pretty extensive "feel out" process (aka hatred) actually became pretty good buddy's the past three weeks. So much so that I think Taz greatly helped out with Fez, almost as much as he did Mom and Dad. Now hopefully Taz will remember how good a dog Fez was, and post terrifying puppy phase become as enjoyable of a family member as the Fezzer was. I bet he will. Litte Tazzy seems to miss his buddy right now too.

Liz and I are holding up pretty well, as good as can be expected, we've had a big head start through the mourning phase. It will be a bit longer of course, but we're already starting to embrace the wonderful memories and good times phase. And we're blessed that in less than 3 short years we have more than a lifetime's worth. Rest In Peace little buddy. GL&T.

Fun Link: 2

I enjoyed wasting away 13 minutes of work on this bad boy. Ricky Gervais on "Creation"

Ricky Gervais

Fun Link:

Cool Webpage

A collection Music Concerts, Movies, TV Shows, Stand-up Shows...

Example:


Music

* Alice In Chains MTV Unplugged (1996)
* Children Of Bodom - Tuska 2003 Live
* Cream's Farewell Concert (1969)
* Deep Purple - Machine Head Live 1972
* Doors: Live at the Hollywood Bowl, The (1987)
* Dream Theater - Live at Budokan (2004)
* Iron Maiden Live at Donington 1992
* Jamiroquai Live In London (03-07-2005)
* Jimi Hendrix at Woodstock (1992)
* Jupiter and Beyond Infinite
* Maiden England
* Mario & Zelda Big Band Live
* Megadeth - Live in London 1992
* Metallica: Cunning Stunts (1998)
* Metallica Live at Rock Am Ring 2006
* MTV Icon: Metallica (2003)
* MTV in 1983
* Neil Young in Concert 1971
* Nightwish Live at Raumanmeri 2003
* Nirvana - Live Amsterdam 1991
* Opeth Live in Norway
* Pink Floyd - Live
* Pump up the 90's Party
* Punk Rock Movie, The (1978)
* Queen - Greatest Video Hits
* Queen Live Aid 1985
* Rage Against the Machine live at Rock am Ring 2000
* Red Hot Chili Peppers live at Rock Werchter 2006
* Red Hot Chili Peppers Live at Woodstock 1999
* Red Hot Chili Peppers Live - The Rock Odyssey 2004
* Sonata Arctica - Live At Tavastia
* System of a Down - Whisky a Go Go Show 1997
* Wizard of Oz - Dark Side of the Moon
* Wolfmother on JTV Live
* Yellow Submarine (1968)


Entertainment Shows

* Andy Kaufman: The Midnight Special (1981)
* Bill Hicks - One Night Stand (1991)
* Brian Regan: I Walked on the Moon (2004)
* Dane Cook Comedy Central
* Dane Cook: Insomniac Tour
* Dane Cook: Vicious Circle (2006)
* Dan Nainan at Seattle's Moore Theater
* Eddie Izzard: Definite Article (1996)
* Eddie Murphy Raw (1987)
* Frank Caliendo - Impressions
* George Carlin: Again (1978)
* George Carlin - Back in Town (1996)
* George Carlin: Carlin on Campus (1984)
* George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing (2005)
* Jeff Dunham - Arguing with Myself (2006)
* Lee Evans: Live in Scotland (1998)
* No Cure for Cancer (1992)
* On Location: George Carlin at USC (1977)
* Pablo Francisco - Bits and Pieces
* Pablo Francisco: Ouch! Live From San Jose
* Ricky Gervais: Animals
* Robert Newman's History of Oil
* Rowan Atkinson Live (1992)
* Russell Peters - Comedy Now!
* Russell Peters - Show Me the Funny
* Steve Bridges as George Bush
* White House Correspondents' Dinner 2006


TV-series & Shows

* Airwolf (1984)
* Da Ali G Show - Episode 06: Belief
* Da Ali G Show - Episode 12: Realness
* Best Bits of Mr. Bean, The (1997)
* Best of Borat
* Brass Eye - Episode 4 - Sex (1997)
* Derren Brown - Waking Dead
* Ghost Hunters
* Gumball 3000: Around the World in 8 Days
* Jackass: Gumball 3000 Rally Special
* Look Around You - Maths (2002)
* Mad TV - Hell Date (Pablo Francisco)
* Mad TV - Terminator 3
* Monty Python's Flying Circus - The Spanish Inquisition (1970)
* Monty Python - The Funniest Joke In The World
* MythBusters - Breaking Glass With Human Voice
* Real Hustle, The - Episode 1 (2006)
* Real Hustle, The (2006)
* SAS Survival Secrets
* Saturday Night Live: The Best of Will Ferrell (2002)
* Tour of Duty (1987)
* Viva La Bam - Prank Wars
* World's Funniest Commercials (2006)

Other QVC Gems

My main man J-Rod, the current Wii Boxing Champion (Trust me he better retire on top) sent me these gems to add on to the last folly.

Q:Is it okay to use as carry-on?


Q: If I fall is it certain death?


Q: Don't you think it looks more like a pony than a horse?

I Love My Porno...

But maybe not as much as this guy.



PS - CFH People - hope you screen better than this.